On my own again!

Well that is not exactly the truth! While my mom did leave today, I still have Kurt and Kaeli here to watch over me. I also have my mother-in-law and friend Bobbi (she is amazing) only a 20 min. ride away and I have many amazing friends and neighbors who are here for me at a moments notice.

I have not really had a good cry since this whole thing came about. I do feel on the verge at times, but the truth of the matter is that I get these horrendous headaches when I cry, and it is not always worth it. I did come pretty close to having an all out cry fest today though when mom left. I did sob a while and it actually felt pretty good. Sorry boys, us girls need to release the tears, just who we are. There never has to even be a reason, remember that. I then distracted myself by cleaning up my area in the TV room-the whole room! Still a ways to go but it is getting there. So much paper work from the past year that I have neglected. I promised Kurt I'd get it done. That would make him happy, that and Harley D's, my simple man.

I then took my afternoon nap. Did I mention I am on a toddler schedule? Some days I feel I need the 2 nap infant schedule, but haven't been able to work that in yet. Then here was the biggie of the day!!!! Ready?? I ventured out on my own for the first time since last year! I just realized that I have not been any where by myself since New Year's Eve Day!!!!! I drove the 20 min. to see my primary care doctor so he could see how I was doing. He said I looked better than he thought I would after having surgery. I guess I don't really understand yet how major it was. I still feel like #$%$@* (kids read this) some days but I know it is all part of healing. I then picked up Kaeli from daycare, oops! preschool, she hates it when I call it daycare!

I made my first meal since last year as well. It consisted of warming up some delicious stew that my friend had made for us, warming up some Jolly Green Guy veggies and tossing potatoes my mother had already boiled in a pan to brown them up for Kurt's homefries. (He put the stew over it. Delicious!) Can I tell you I am tired! Seems like I did so little, but I guess it was a lot.

The highlight of my day yesterday was a spur of the moment visit to my school. It was so awesome to see all my friends. I work with so many amazing women and some pretty great guys too! :-) Everyone was so happy to see me and that gave me the boost I needed knowing that my mom was leaving the next day.

I then got to see my kids! Boy, do I miss them. I will never admit this again, and don't you dare tell them but I think they could turn me to mush right now. I know I am not ready to go back. I loved seeing them and talking to them, but it really tired me out! Don't want them to know they have the ability to do that to me. They know me as the TOUGH BUT FAIR teacher. If they thought I wasn't, they'd have to take advantage-it is their nature! :-) By the way, they also know me as the silly dancing fool teacher. Something I am very proud of! Could you pick me out in the videos?

You can't help but smile when you dance. I think I am going to turn Man Town in my basement into a dance club once a month, anyone want to join me? That would be a hoot!

Alright, it is way past my bedtime. My mom is not here to tell me to go to sleep, so I'll have to do it myself!
Hope you don't mind the randomness that this blog has become. I go to see my surgeon on Tues. Feb.11Th, my brothers Brian and Dan's birthdays. No they are not twins. Just a year apart! He'll let me know how my incision is doing. Right now, it looks like I have 2 belly buttons. After that, I meet with my oncologist March 3rd. So I'll keep you all posted! Lots of love and appreciation for everything and every thought you've sent my way! xxoo Theresa