On a more positive note...

First, I must thank everyone.  I feel your prayers and so appreciate all your words of encouragement.  I replay them in my head daily and they bring me a lot of strength.  

As you can imagine, Tuesday was a tough day.  But like my cousin Liz said, I asked because I can handle the answer.  I was feeling down for about a day and a half, mostly when I thought about it in terms of how much time that was for Kaeli.  Then I remembered that feeling bad about it wasn't going to change anything.  Focusing on the negative never made something positive happen, therefore I am focusing on the positive.  My friend Yarina reminded me that I am no ordinary girl, I didn't get an ordinary type of cancer and I will not do this the ordinary way.  

I believe so strongly that those numbers do not apply to me.  I WILL NOT LET MYSELF BELIEVE IT.  My friend Kristen said that when she found out she had cancer, she and her husband simply refused to believe that statistics applied to her.  I have chosen to BELIEVE the same.  Kurt feels the same way I do, he simply refuses to believe anything beside the fact that we will beat this together.  

I believe that attitude plays a huge role in all this.  My attitude is that I don't have time or a place for cancer in my life. I am not planning on giving it any attention.  I will however be giving myself a lot of attention.  I am going to be proactive and do everything possible to be healthy and happy.  Surrounding myself with wonderful people like you all is one of the best things I am doing for myself.

I do have some other news from my visit.  Dr. Kulke is happy with my progress. He said that we are going to take care of me!  I really like him a lot.  I had no negative side effects from my monthly chemo shot. I will continue to get the octreotide shot each month at Dana Farber, which is a totally impressive place!  Like Mike and so many of you have said, I am in the best area possible as far as health care goes. ( The octreotide shot inhibits the carcinoid tumor from releasing hormones that cause the symptoms of carcinoid syndrome.  Dr. Kulke said that it kind of puts the tumor to sleep.)  

He did however say that I cannot go back to work as early as I had hoped to.  My pancreas is not back to producing  the enzymes it should be yet. Which isn't a surprise considering the surgery I had.  I am not absorbing all the nutrients from the food I eat and am therefore still having a ton of gas and diarrhea.  Five out of seven days, I am in the bathroom every 20 minutes.  That will go on for a few hours at least, usually in the middle of the day.   It is pretty uncomfortable, especially the gas pains.  That is not really ideal when you teach 1st grade.  So to help that, I am taking enzymes every time I eat.  He says that I will be able to go back after my next visit which is at the end of March.  

I am no longer in any (severe) pain and do not take pain killers on a regular basis.  Other than the gas pains, it is the area around my incision that hurts the most.  Now that I am a little more active and using those muscles, they are sore.  I guess they are growing back together.  I never realized how much we use our core muscles just doing everyday things.  I feel every little muscle when I move, it is really weird.   I feel it most when I go to turn over in bed at night.  Ouch!  Good thing for Tylenol PM.  That not only is helping me get to sleep and stay asleep, it makes my abdomen feel a lot better!

Once again my beautiful little girl says it is time for a bedtime story, so I must go.  I love her soooo!

Thank you again for your support, encouragement, prayers and belief in me.  It really means the world to me!  Lots of love, Theresa